Self confidence is the inner feeling of the person of his or her ability to do or not to do specific things without fear of failure or the fear of the end result.
Overestimate or underestimate of self confidence
The good self confident person is the one who does not overestimate or underestimate his or her ability. You need to measure your ability with the task to be done. If you overestimate your ability, then you will not be able to accomplish the task, and you will fail, this will affect your self confidence in the future. If you underestimate your ability, then you will be afraid to do things out of fear of failure, in this case your self confidence is not strong enough, and it may leads to unsuccessful life.
The strong self confidence is very important for each person to be able to do various necessary functions in life without fear of failure.
If your ability is not enough to accomplish the task, be honest with yourself and don’t start the task before you equip your mind with the knowledge needed to accomplish the task, analyze the task, find out what more do you need to know in order to be able to accomplish the task, then educate yourself on the method required to be done to complete your task, this procedures is related to your strong self confidence.
If you have the knowledge and experience to do the task, but you underestimate your ability to do it, then here is the problem, you are afraid to do it, here is the lack of self confidence, which you need to work on it, to strength your self confidence, to know why are you afraid to do it, to find out what happened in the past to let you be afraid to do things even if you know how.
Fear of doing things
Go back as far as can thru your life since your childhood, try to remember when you used to play, or doing things, try to remember the comments you received from your parents, or older brothers, neighbors, teachers, try to remember if you had received discouraging comments about what you do, there may be some bad negative comments about your accomplishments while you were very young affected you, stayed in your mind telling you that you are not good enough to do things, some incorrect judgment or incorrect comments by a person or persons who may not be knowledgeable of what you were doing, and because you were so young you thought that their comments and judgments are correct, so your inner mind stored the information of your disability to accomplish things, which transformed to a lack of confidence to do things.
Building up your self-confidence
Start from scratch, who are you? A person and mind, have the thinking, have the ideas, have the goals, have the power to do whatever you want. Direct yourself to the positive side of your mind, always think about yourself that you can do it, and you will do it, no matter what.
The people who have the ability to do things but are afraid of failures should reprogram their minds by completely erasing any fear they may have stored in their inner mind, and follow a simple formula in life, which is anything needed to be done should be analyzed, the time of analysis will depend on the task, may an automatic analysis like the things we do everyday in our lives, or a longer time is needed for the analysis, the objective of the analysis is to determine if you have the ability to do it, if not, then know what more do you need to accomplish this task, then equip yourself with the tools needed to accomplish your task.
To build the self confidence, use the step by step approach, concentrate on specific realistic ideas, start with a simple idea which can be accomplished easily, then go up to more difficult ones, just to build your self confidence.
Don’t depend on anybody else to do it for you, you are the one who should do what you want to do, the way you speak should be slowly with confidence, direct to the point, with a convincing style, with a simple friendly smile. Be precise and clear in representing your ideas or plans to others, supporting your point with evidence and facts.
Start by working on creating and improving your inner self esteem, and to create your self generated power which will energize you to do what you seek or what you wish to do. The power should be created from your within, not from the outside, this power will be the engine which motivates you to accomplish your goals.
The decision of doing or not doing the task should be taken after a reasonable amount of time for analysis, depending on the kind of the task, then providing the required tools and knowledge for the action to be taken, then doing the action of accomplishment.
Don’t let the fear comes between you and doing the action, just use the normal caution and normal prudence.
We should determine the degree of our current self confidence, standard, less than standard, or overestimated confidence
Overestimated confidence may lead to wrong decisions, wrong action, failure, arrogance, miscalculation of your plan.
Underestimated confidence may lead to fear of failure, fear of inability to do anything. You need to have a good confidence in your ability to measure the task front of you, analyze it to know what is required to be done, analyze your qualifications to see if you meet the requirements to accomplish the task, and the most important is taking the steps to equip yourself with any missing knowledge or requirement to be able to complete the task.
If you can’t equip yourself with the needed requirements to accomplish the task within the time limit required to complete the task, then be honest with yourself and acknowledge that you will not be able to do it within the time limit, unless a new time limit is established to accommodate the time needed for you to obtain the required experience and knowledge which are to accomplish the task.
Arrogance blinds our eyes from seeing the true facts of life. So, we have to be honest with ourselves and with our current ability to do things, and to do our best to improve ourselves to the point which enable us to do all what we want to do